Dear Dairy,

It’s been xyz days since I was stripped of my Prime Minister title. I’m no more the Premier, but a man who watches movie premiers from time to time. Unfortunately, I don’t get invited to many of those either. Khaqan is the new kid on the block, he flies air force jets and gets invited for lectures. How is he different from me, I ask? He loves Nihari as much as I do, trust me. It’s not my fault that I couldn’t fit in an air force fighter jet’s cockpit, and honestly #fatshaming is still not okay. Do you think I need to cut down on the nihari and naan cholay, diary?

Although I do hear that some people want me thrown in a pit, what is this is hypocrisy I ask?

I am still the leader of the party and I also still have the biggest Simba life size stuffed toy in my room. Now that is something Shahbaz will never have! But I get lonely sometimes. Maybe it’s because things are changing so fast.There used to be a time when Pakistanis hated all politicians, they didn’t care a whole lot about who was going to be in power. But now it’s seems like I am everyone’s go to punching bag. I hear “Go Nawaz Go” chanted more often than I hear the reenactment of Meera’s accent.

All my corrupt friends roam free and give speeches in their bullet proof vessels while I sit here patting my stuffed Lion, thinking about one question over and over again, “Mujhay Kuen Nikala?”


Signing out,

Your beloved ex-prime minister


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