The Chief Justice of Pakistan, Mian Saqib Nisar held a press conference today, asking for Dawn’s clarification on misreporting his coat’s brand. The clarification the Chief Justice demands is of a news report in Dawn where it was quoted: “Chief Justice on his visit to an Army museum wore a branded Armani overcoat”. The CJP said this is “utter bollocks”, it was a gift by his son and definitely not Armani.

Chief Justice of Pakistan

To a silent room of reporters, Chief Justice continued and talked about how this judiciary has been one of the most unbiased judiciaries of Pakistan. “We are gifting justice right, left, and center, but where is our reward?” The honorable Justice took a pause. He then concluded, “Not that we demand it but it is our duty”.

After the press conference, the reporters were in a bit of a shock and confused as to what had happened. “We are not sure what we have to report here,” a young reporter from CHUP NEWS told ProperGaanda.

Though some had different and slightly extreme views than the rest.

“Chief Justice Gives a Historic Speech Inside the Courthouse Press Room”

– Ary News

“Chief Justice Lies Under Oath”

– Geo News

“In One of the Most Dangerous Countries of the World, A News Publication Dares to Stand Up to the Supreme Court”

– The New York Times

“11 Real-Life Court Room Dramas Better Than The Movies”

– ProperGaanda

Dawn News hasn’t spoken on the matter, and we’re wondering why we are, as well.

*This article is a piece of fiction, with (obviously) no reference to real incidents. Any similarity was purely coincidental and is not another reason for the chief justice to tell us again why his judiciary is the most Sadiq and Ameen. This note, from a hysteric, holds no official value and is also bullocks.*


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