The PML-N government is no stranger to prodigiously stressful times. The tenure of their administrations, whether national or provincial, has always been marked by series of misfortunes. Sometimes for themselves, but mostly for the people. And often times under such duress, the government ensues the role of a ‘Ban Brigade’ on issues they deem ‘immoral’. When placing a ban, the PML-N members do not hold back-

Whether its to curb the learning of topics such as Comparative Religion and Reproduction

Source: National Denver Library

Or to place a ban on Valentine’s day broadcasts.

Or, my personal favourite, banning movies regarding the topic of menstruation

In that spirit, the Punjab Government, only today, decided to impose a ban on dancing at school events, regardless of the occasion. This ban is to take effect at all schools across Punjab, private or government. The reason behind the ban being that dancing is ‘immoral’.

What should the government ban instead of dancing, you ask?

Here is a list of just a few things that might be more harmful than dancing:

Maryam Safdar’s Twitter Account

Maryam Nawaz Twitter Ban

The only good lesson one can learn from Mrs. Safdar’s twitter account is perseverance. From there it all goes downhill. Be it the (not so) humblebragging about Nawaz Sharif being a Godsend for the people of Pakistan, to the endless tirades against anyone who is, well, NOT Nawaz Sharif, Maryam’s twitter account is just plain exhausting. Her constant and unsolicited rants about the wonder that is Nawaz Sharif can reduce even simpletons to tears of boredom and annoyance.

Load Shedding

Load Shedding Ban

Summer for most of the world signifies holidays, vacations, and a time to unwind. For the people of Pakistan, summer brings about the looming darkness (LOL) of load shedding. Every year, around March, we, the people, start to prepare ourselves for nearly 8 months of load shedding, by stocking our houses with candles and getting our generator or UPS serviced. At least the few of us who are privileged enough to do so.

For the rest of us, please refer to the image above.

Text Message Advertisements

Text Advertisement Ban

Those of you truly plagued by lack of home tuition options, no access to sales and erectile dysfuction, may not mind this as much. For the rest of us, this is our everyday bell-chiming, vibrating nightmare. It’s disappointing enough, when that one person we want to text us back, doesn’t. It’s another kind of hell altogether when the phone actually rings with a message, and it turns out to be an unsubscribed text message advertisement. Thanks, but no thanks.

Outrageously Priced Lawn Suits

Overpriced Lawn Ban

Even those of us who aren’t cult followers of Lawn brands are often swept away in the annual lawn frenzy. But there’s nothing like the price tag of a designer lawn suit to put a working girl back in her place. At times like this one must realise that you only have one kidney to spare, and that a Sana Safinaz 2A suit is definitely not worth the drama.

Use of the word ‘Bachi’ (in reference to young adult and adult women)

Word "Bachi" Ban

Guys, seriously. Maybe don’t call grown women “Bachis”. Like ever. Never ever. Please. It’s not fun, it’s not attractive, it’s not going to get you any action. If one had to think of the most derogatory term to describe a woman, apart from the basic derogatory terminologies of course, “Bachi” would be at the top. Not only because grown women are NOT bachis, but also because it indicates a Freudian complex in guys, that no woman wants to touch.

Elaichi in Biryani

Elaichi Biryani Ban

What is, a physical example of the word ‘Evil’? Yeah. An elaichi in biryani. Whoever in the span of biryani history decided to make this addition to every desi’s favorite food’s recipe, has ruined daigs and daigs of biryani nationwide!

Rana Sanaullah

Rana Sanaullah Ban

The caption itself does justice to this wholly un-natural phenomenon.

Let children be children. There are more pressing matters that need to be addressed.



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