Although the Eid mania has died down, the wedding season is upon us, which means we are once again at the mercy of our tailors. This brings us to an important consideration… how do we make sure that our tailors actually listen to us this time around?
Maybe, to ensure that you don’t get duped, you need to know exactly what tailors say to get out of doing work or absolve themselves of the blame.
Here’s a list of common excuses you will likely hear from a tailor:
1) Garmi Bohat Hai, Baji
If your tailor is a whiner, this is probably going to be the first excuse he has in his arsenal. When you ask why he’s taking so long on your clothes, he will let out a pity-inducing sigh, wave towards his seemingly sweatless clothes and face, and insist that it was absolutely too hot to finish the work on time. Strangely enough, the cooler or AC is working at full blast.
2) Meri Motorcycle Kharab Ho Gaye Thi
After waiting on your tailor for two hours, when he finally shows up, it is with the off-hand excuse that his motorcycle malfunctioned. He doesn’t even try to explain how or why. He is your tailor, and that puts him on an untouchable pedestal and he knows that fact and will not shy away from abusing it every chance he gets.
3) Baji Ye Tou Material He Kharab Hai
This is a good one because it actually makes you think your tailor may be right. When the shirt he made won’t fit you right, he’ll point out flaws in the cloth you gave him: this is too stiff… it’s not pure cotton… it isn’t giving you the look you want because it’s the wrong kind of material.
4) Baji Apka Size Badal Gaya Ho Ga
Oh, the audacity. This is yet another way of pushing the blame onto you. Some will subtly hint at it, others will state it blatantly. It doesn’t irk any less either way. Because once again, the tailor has turned his fault into yours… and the worst part is sometimes, just sometimes, he is right.
5) Ap Ne Call Ker Ke Remind He Nahin Keraya
This is golden. It makes you realize that some will say almost anything to avoid work, no matter how nonsensical. The moment you lose some of your vigilance, your tailor will ratchet it up ten steps, and pretend like you never told him you needed the dress in a week max, regardless of whether you called or showed up to check or not.
6) Light Chali Gayi Thi
This is an understandable excuse, considering the amount of load shedding we experience. But it loses its legitimacy after three days, which is about how long some tailors will try to stretch it. And you’re also compelled to wonder… did they completely miss out on the invention of the UPS and generator?
7) Baji Yeh Aap Pe Acha Nahi Lagay Ga
Another gem: this is when you show your tailor a design you found on the Internet and want to get made for yourself, but it may require a bit more effort than usual; ‘you won’t like it in the end so don’t blame me’.
8) They Just Don’t Listen To Me
This is a great way for your tailor to explain delays and errors: just blame the dyers and embroidery workers. He will play it off like there is massive subordination in the ranks, and they didn’t listen even though he told them to do it the way you wanted. And of course, he was just about to get to fixing it before you showed up.
9) The Hangry Tailor
Sometimes you’ll be calling your tailor but he will refuse to pick up. When you go to check things out, there is absolutely no sign of him anywhere. Upon asking around, you find out he is on a lunch break: an extended one, four hours to be exact. You find your unfinished dress lying forgotten in his workspace, while he curbs his hunger pangs at god-knows-where.
Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to let your tailor do what he wants to do. The sad fact is we have to put up with all of this and more because good tailors are hard to find. But if he bothers you too much, don’t be afraid to look for better. It’s a big world out there.