Bakra Eid 2018 is just around the corner and with the spirit of festivity, comes along the moment to sacrifice animals. Eid is celebrated across the Muslim world and with this annual religious celebratory 3-day event comes a collection of people you are bound to come across that are just the Tarka on our haleem. If halfway through the list you begin to wonder if you’ve ever met them, know that there’s always this year and the next.
Here are 7 types of people you meet on Bakra Eid:
1. The One Who Buys a Farm
There’s always that one neighbor or family member who must absolutely buy an entire farm to celebrate Eid. These are the guys who begin to tell you their list of animals that were just so many that they had to book the empty plot next door just to tie them. They start their Eid with a camel and then buy another camel just so the one isn’t lonely. While the camels are an acquired taste, they also get a cow to meet the mainstream needs of their social circle. And what is Eid Qurbani without a handful of goats? And, this ladies and gentlemen is how you get a farm.
2. The Uncle Who Argues With the Butcher
The actual sacrifice itself is a venture on its own. It is impossible to find the right butcher at the right time. And when someone finally decides to sacrifice your animal on the day of Eid, there has to be the father or the uncle or the chacha, mamu, taya who must question him on his knife holding and using skills. However, the first strike of conversation is the rate. The uncles usually forget that sacrifice itself would be impossible without a butcher and continue for at least an hour trying to bring the rate down, which usually never happens to their contentment.
3. The People Who Don’t Eat Qurbani ka Gosht
There is always that one annoying cousin, brother or sister who walks around the entire house making a disgusted face because of the smell or the fact that they see blood everywhere and can’t fathom how barbaric this is. These are also the people who open the cover of each saucepan just so they can complain about how there is no chicken in the menu to cater to their needs. During dinner, they will also stare you down as you try and enjoy the Siri Paye like the true desi that you are.
4. The Aunty Who Flaunts Her Jora
There is always the aunty or a handful of them who had to make an entrance during eid once after everyone arrives just so all sets of eyes can meet their jora that cost them an absolute fortune. These are the women who forget that quite frankly, no one is really interested but they must-oh-must shove their elite mentality and 13k suit in your face even though it is not even that special, to begin with.
5. The Cousins Who Want Eidi
One you qualify into the adult group you also realize that is eid is far less enjoyable when you are on the giving side of eidi. These are the little minions who will pounce on you and drown you in their taunts of how you’ve lost all sincerity towards family since you got a job because you refused to give eidi. They are also the ones who don’t let go until they see a thousand rupee note after you try to convince them that 50 is more because it has less zeros than 1000.
6. The Family Member Who Sleeps All Day
There is always the one family member who will hardly ever get up for namaz and if they do, they sleep throughout the day. For them, eid means the sweet sound of deep slumber. In their crispy white ironed eid Shalwar kameez they fall onto the bed only to wake up and find the dinner ready, guests arrived and the table set. They are also the one who complain about how “eid has lost its touch this year.” Roll your eyes and move on.
7. The Members Who Want Mehndi and Bangles
Though these are never the worst ones of the lot, they are a nice reminder of why we need to celebrate Eid in the first place. They take you through the crowded streets just so they can get the Pakistani flag made of henna on their palm and get bangles that match their dresses to the last motif. But then again you thank them the next day because they contributed a great deal to make your eid great.
So if you’ve never met such people before, brace yourself for all the Eid dawats this week.