As a group of men armed with wooden sticks (and one sword) fight for their right to create chaos and bring the country to a stand still, the government has decided to send a strong message, assigning a 4 man negotiation team headed by the religious minister this morning. After a gruelling session of negotiations the government in consultation with other political parties and bureaucracy has unanimously decided to bend over backwards atleast once a year to fanatics.
Earlier today, the biggest opposition party of the country, Pakistan’s Muslim (Stuffed) Lions – Noon decided to stay silent on the matter. A source from inside the party has told Propergaanda, “Not our problem bro, we got our own shit to worry about”. But they have lauded this move and said it makes everyone’s job easier. They stated that not only should the government bend over backwards in the times of crisis, but the long-standing tradition of greasing palms should also be kept alive.
In the agreement signed between the protestors and the government, it was stated that they will be allowed to raise hue and cry, burn cars and target innocents once a year without any resistance from the government over made up issue relating to their definition of religion.
“Look, these fanatics are going to rise regardless, atleast this way we can plan a little so less destruction is caused. It’s like the movie purge!” – Fawad Chaudary justifying the rationale behind the new deal.
He further elaborated that this would help the country focus on the real issue on hand that is building a dam.
Later on, ex-captain of the Pakistan cricket team and the man who’s heading the country part time, Imran Khan, shared a memorable photo with Amir Khan the boxer and his wife who is also somehow famous.