As you all probably know, the International Monetary Fund is bailing Pakistan about of a tough situation.

IMF, our savior once again, has decided to be generous enough to give a $6 bailout package, to be disbursed over a span of more than three years. However, unsurprisingly, the IMF has asked for certain policies to be followed.

For one, all loans have been given on a 50% interest rate that needs to be paid back within the next two years. 

This guarantees we will need to take another loan before we even get the whole amount from the IMF. Moreover, in case of default on payment, the IMF gets control of all of our squirrels. Yes, you read that right, they want our squirrels. Moreover, everyone in the country will need to give their left shoe to the IMF.

And if the amount of our squirrels do not add up to at least 15 million, we will have to give them all of our spy pigeons! This has caused people to lose their minds, as our pigeons are our strongest asset against India. While India has been the leader in the Sub-continent with regards to a lot of things, they have not been able to train their pigeons to be spies. They were able to capture one of our spy pigeons, however, it refused to give up our state-secrets.

The United States and other countries have tried their best to gain access to our spy pigeons, and the IMF is how they are going to do it.

Putting up our beloved spy pigeon technology as collateral for the money was not taken well by Pakistani society.

Many pointed out how this isn’t the first time the IMF has tried and taken something from the country through loans and repayments. The last government took loans to build their precious Ring Road, however, we had to give up our ownership of The Hubble, giving it to NASA. We are lucky though. Just to benefit from South American land, the United States, though the IMF, installed literal puppets to run the government.

Kermit the Frog was Cambodia’s most violent dictator, even though he is so highly respected in the US. In Iran, Miss Piggy ruled for nearly 3 decades until the people had enough of the puppeteering.

Let’s hope we can give the money back, otherwise we are losing a lot of random things that have made our lives a lot easier. No more left shoes. No more squirrels. No more spy pigeons.