“Beti ki shaadi mai kamr toot jaati hai,” we get to hear this very often. It makes me desire to earn and work hard even more so that when it comes to my wedding, I’m able to handle the expenses. Moreover, in recent times, there has been a prolonged debate on social media regarding the concept of “lavish and expensive weddings.” People have been expressing their honest opinions on this matter, but what lies at the core of this discussion?

Living in Pakistan, a country facing economic challenges and recession, it becomes crucial for individuals to consider saving more and spending less. However, parents often find themselves under societal pressure or succumb to their endless desires. The cultural norms and extravagant expectations associated with weddings in Pakistan have outgrown their practicality. It may be argued that expensive weddings have become the sole source of “entertainment” in the country.

Unfortunately, this puts immense pressure on middle and lower-class households as they are compelled to spend beyond their means.
Lavish weddings are often characterized by grandeur and extravagance. The emphasis is placed on delectable food and beautiful settings. But why does it matter? Who is it truly important to? Those relatives end up saying: “Shaadi k khanay mai maza nahi aya!” It is better to have the traditional concept of a potluck, where guests contribute dishes to the wedding, but that has gradually faded away. However, if revived, it could lead to significant cost savings and offer a diverse range of culinary delights.

Have we ever paused to consider the desires of the bride and groom themselves? A lavish wedding may not align with their true wishes. Money should not always dictate the decision. It is vital to prioritize the aspirations of the couple. They may be wise enough to consider saving for a better future, given the country’s economic and political challenges. Weddings should be based on mutual consent in every aspect. A tweet I came across on Twitter struck a chord: “There should be a campaign urging parents to let go of excessive spending, using their life savings for one or two days that ultimately hold little significance in the grand scheme of things.”

The practice of dowry should be actively discouraged at weddings. It is unjust to expect the bride’s family to provide a dowry when they are already giving their daughter. This outdated system devalues women, treating them as possessions and reinforcing the notion that they are burdens. Moreover, it often leads to harassment and abuse when dowry expectations cannot be met.

Furthermore, it is crucial to celebrate weddings based on personal preferences, rather than succumbing to societal pressure. Pleasing everyone is impossible, so it’s important to prioritize one’s happiness and well-being. Intimate, budget-friendly weddings, surrounded by genuine loved ones, create meaningful and cherished experiences. Let us break free from toxic influences and embrace weddings that truly reflect our desires and values.


Hi! I'm an occasional reader, an avid writer and a fiercely firm feminist too. Hope you read & like my articles. I don't do politics much but I love writing for women, culture & life!