Remember when Kabir in Dil Dhadakne Do said: “Family mais ab uper uper se baat karte hain, asli baat toh karta he koi nahi aik dusre se!” That was a true representation of desi households. How all conversations have a veil over it and no one is talking about the real things. You can’t date and if you do, then you can’t talk about it. The reluctance to openly discuss dating in Desi households stems from a combination of cultural norms, traditional values, and generational gaps.

In many Desi households, dating is a topic that is considered taboo or culturally sensitive. “How can you date? It’s haram. You must do an arranged marriage” This is often rooted in traditional beliefs and practices that prioritize arranged marriages or conservative views on relationships. Why is it such a big deal to date someone for a while and then marry them? The emphasis on “family honor, social reputation, and cultural expectations” can contribute to the reluctance to openly discuss dating.

Older generations may have grown up in a different cultural context, where dating was less common or not openly acknowledged. They may perceive dating as a deviation from traditional values or fear that it will lead to a loss of control over their children’s choices. But is control over your kids more important than a healthy environment of the house where your child comes to you when he/she’s confused?

But why aren’t we ready to talk about it? Why aren’t we having open conversations about this in our households? Why is it such a big deal for Desi parents and Desi society? And after all this, parents wonder, “Hamaray bachay humse dur kuin ho gaye?” It should be normalized to talk about this because if a person dates someone who he/she plans to marry then I don’t think there should be an issue and talking about this topic shouldn’t be an issue as well. But ye desi household hai, idhar sab “unexplored” he sahi hai.


Hi! I'm an occasional reader, an avid writer and a fiercely firm feminist too. Hope you read & like my articles. I don't do politics much but I love writing for women, culture & life!