Pakistan and America are old allies with an often tumultuous relationship but never before has the Pakistani public felt so close to the Americans. The current U.S election has shaped up to be strikingly similar to a desi election. The entire cast has been mirrored near perfectly. We have the incumbent who has proven to be a disaster, the opposition whose only merit is that they’re not affiliated with the incumbent and then we have the general public caught between a rock and a hard place, being forced to pick the lesser of the two evils. All in all pretty much akin to our situation since the last election. The increasing polarisation in America which led to a ‘you’re either with us or against us’ dichotomy is eerily close to our national discourse. Where we have the PDM vs the Hybrid Regime, the U.S has the Democrats vs Trump and white supremacy. For us, largely considered a hot mess of a country, it’s expected but this is not exactly a great look for country that claims to be the ‘sole superpower’ of the world. Now, while I feel for the Americans— because its not easy to watch the social fabric of your country disintegrate while the government continues to destroy what little is still functional in the nation, who else would understand this better than us—I can’t help but find it hilarious as well. It’s like a rehash of our last election only without the emotional involvement since we’ve already elected our Nalaik-e-Azam and are locked in for his term. Trump preemptively declaring victory when he knows he’s in danger of loosing and then tweeting increasingly unhinged theories about how the mail-in ballots are being used to sabotage his chances at a second term might be perplexing for the average American to witness but we saw it coming a mile away. After all we know what came in the wake of an actual RTS failure. Next thing you know Trump might be chanting ‘vote ko izzat dou’ as well. I’m half expecting Trump to call his Army Chief in for backup, with all his petulant threats of refusing to go gently into that good night. But, given that their army has historically stayed out of national politics, unlike their role in the politics of every oil rich country ever, Trump might have to call our beloved General Sahab to come to the rescue instead. After all who has a better track record of changing the tide of an election count than our boys in khaki. Or, incase General Sahab is busy, Trump could learn a thing or two from the PTI and stage a sit in outside the white house. He can gather his merry band of white supremacists and do a dharna on the side that faces what is to be Biden’s new bedroom window. Whatever he ends up doing one thing is for sure that much like every losing Pakstani politician, Trump too will be crying out ‘Dhandli!’.
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