In a rare display of bipartisan support for legislation, the Parliament has voted to amend the Pakistan Penal Code (PPC) to add a new defense for criminal and civil charges, which will appear alongside the insanity defense in the statute book. Speaking at a press conference after the session, Nation Assembly Speaker Ayaz Sadiq clarified the salient features of the law. “From now on, anyone who is a father, a son and a husband can claim immunity from most criminal proceedings. Since by the virtue of being part of these relationships a person is incapable of committing immoral acts – like breaking the law or committing misdemeanors – we have decided to officially include the provision into our legal system to avoid confusion”.
The Speaker went on to explain that while the parliament debated including the “I am a mother, a daughter and a wife” defense into the law as well they ultimately decided against it. “If we were to include that, than there would be no one left to convict in criminal cases, and that, we felt, was quite illogical.”
In the wake of the new law there has been intense legal debate over the exact interpretation of the new provision, with legal experts claiming that you have to meet all three requirements – be a father, a son and a husband – to claim the defense. While the matter is pending before the Supreme Court, large sections of the population have taken matters into their own hand, not willing to let anything to chance. Marriage bureaus have been overwhelmed as single men are rushing to get married, while married men are eager to have their first child as soon as possible to fulfill all three conditions. Orphans on the other hand – who cannot claim to be someone’s son in the legal sense – are petitioning the court to grant them a stay order while they make arrangements to be adopted by another individual. “This will revolutionize our justice system and reduce an immense burden on the court” said a proud Ayaz Sadiq, happily pointing out that since he fulfills all requirements he can relax and not focus on behaving appropriately towards his female employees. “It will give me the peace of mind to do my job properly”.